William走出哀傷日記(35) Notes for friends of mourner

Leanne

Wrapping up your stuff is part of my recovery plan. Flipping through your petite diary book to see if anything worthy to digitize into the memoir for sharing, I found the following notes you made (I tried my best to do it right as I am not 100% confident in reading your cursory writing) :

How to help those being hurted or in pain :

1. Don't explain on behalf of God - Just SYMPATHY;
2. Reassure that he did not desense this fate at the hands of a rightous God;
3. Don't judge , don't be critical of the mourner;
4. No need to minimize the mourner's pain;
5. No need to ask the mourner to disguise or reject his feelings;
6. Give compassion, physical comforting;
7. Listen to the mourner;
8. Reduce the guilty feeling. Not everything has a cause. Avoid to believe "we are the cause" especially the bad things that happen, important for children;
9. Don't ask for details to try to understand why the misfortune happened. This will make he think that this is his fault. Be careful of Anger.

Leanne, did we do it right to you? You do not need this notes any longer. But I am not sure if we can understand what you have dropped down. Hope we can put it into our life to help others and ourselves.
Thanks for your notes. I can see you between the lines. And I see your smiling face as you see your notes jumping out of your diary to touch more lives.

William

2011/06/24